


No Pants Man With a Plan

by giselleslash



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Chemistry, Frat Boy Dum Dums, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Meet-Cute, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Tight Pants, Top Steve Rogers, idiot boys, stupid humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giselleslash/pseuds/giselleslash
Summary: Bucky needs some pants. Steve’s got some pants. Obviously it’s all happily ever after from there on out. (Inspired bythis tweet.)





	No Pants Man With a Plan

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'ed and ridiculous but I had a lot of fun writing it. I saw the tweet and couldn't resist.

Bucky stumbles into lab with a little under fifteen minutes to spare. He was certain he wouldn’t make it at all so to be here so bright and early is a miracle in itself. 

Beer pong and the hot ass junior who sucked his brains out through his cock the night before didn’t exactly make for a successful early morning wake up. His need to piss was the real hero today. If nature’s call had fucked off and left a voicemail he definitely wouldn’t be in lab right now.

“Nice shorts, man.”

“Fuck off, Wilson. I know I look good.”

“Yeah, board shorts and a flannel shirt are really doing it for you this morning. Have you no shame, Barnes? When was the last time you were anywhere near a pool of water?”

“Four days ago, actually. We went to Taylor’s Falls, fuck you very much.”

Sam rolls his eyes at him. “Which only means they’re dirty besides. Gross, man. Fucking gross. I’ll feel shame for you.”

“You do realize you’re the only twenty-two year old who gives a crap about clean clothes.”

“Spoken like a true frat boy.”

“Hey! You’re a frat boy too.”

“I am, but I’m a clean one. I’ve got fucking game, Barnes, unlike you.”

“Yeah, well, whose dick was getting sucked last night?”

“I’m guessing yours. Congratulations to your dick. Especially for surviving this long without contracting an STI.”

Bucky just yawns and gives Sam the finger.

“Classy, dude, but we’ve gotta talk about those shorts,” Sam says.

“You’re kinda obsessed with my shorts.” Bucky raises an eyebrow at Sam. “I think you know what that means.”

“Yeah, it means you’re gonna get your ass kicked outta lab.”

“Kicked outta — wha?”

“Shorts? Lab? Shorts in the lab?”

It finally hits Bucky. “Shiiiiit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

“Fuck, what time is it?”

“Time to run if you’re gonna get back here in time.”

“Fuck me.” Bucky gets up from his stool and grabs Sam by the shoulders, looks straight into his eyes and says, “Stall.”

Sam shakes his head and laughs as Bucky runs out of the chem lab. “No thanks, man!” he yells after him.

Bucky basically leaps down the three flights of stairs and runs out of North Fullerton Hall into the glaring light of morning. “Fuuuck,” he growls under his breath as he runs across the courtyard. His and Sam’s frat house is at least a ten minute walk away and he’s only got about that long total. There’s no fucking way he’ll be able to get there and back even if he uses all of his cross country skills from high school. 

He’s so fucking screwed.

He turns a corner and runs smack into a brick wall of blondness and muscle and blondness. Of course Bucky ends up flat on his ass staring up at the God of Fuck. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry! Are you okay?” asks Sir Blondsalot.

Naturally Bucky answers, “Nice pants.”

Marilyn Monroe looks at him strangely for a second before asking, “You fell on your ass, not your head, right? I didn’t miss you cracking your head on something, did I?”

“You did not,” Bucky says as he hops to his feet. “Can I have your pants?”

Bucky gets another odd look. “Are you _sure_ you didn’t fall on your head?”

“Positive. Pants?” Bucky asks again as he holds out his hand and wiggles his fingers. “Please?”

“While you’re mastering the art of alliteration I’m still not sure you’re entirely okay in the head.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re not an English major are you?”

“No. Why?”

“Bad experience with an English major not understanding the meaning of one night stand and coming back many consecutive nights to my window to recite poetry and sonnets and bullshit.”

“Ahh,” Heidi Klum nods like he knows. Oh, he knows. He’s surely been obsessed over before, Bucky’s certain of it. Someone with that body and that face? 

“I’d love to tell you more but I’ve got less than ten minutes to get your pants and get back to North Fullerton.”

“Elaborate.”

Well, at least he didn’t say no.

“Me. Shorts. Chem lab, no shorts allowed. Me, need pants. No pants? Fucked GPA,” Bucky says succinctly. 

“I think I understood that.”

“I knew you were smart, I could tell.”

“Flattery won’t get you my pants,” says the lost Skarsgard brother. “GPA’s on the other hand are serious business.”

“Look, I’ll give you my very stylish board shorts and my phone number and you can get your pants back in exactly two and a half hours.”

“Well I’ve always wanted to go to my economics class in board shorts —”

“I could sense that about you, Bieber,” Bucky says as he takes Justin’s hand and starts dragging him toward the closest building and hopefully a bathroom. 

“Bieber? I’m Steve.”

“Okay then Steve, let’s get you out of those pants.”

“Insert dreamy sigh here,” Steve says sarcastically. 

Bucky just snorts, he’s starting to like this Steve Bieber guy. “I like you, Steve Bieber,” he says.

Steve sighs dramatically. 

Bucky eventually finds a bathroom and has his shorts already halfway off before he even opens the door. He sees some dude giving him a gross look from down the hallway. 

“Like you’ve never had a shit sneak up on you before,” Bucky yells at the dude as Steve shoves him the rest of the way into the bathroom. 

“Honestly, you’re a menace.”

“My friends call me Bucky.”

“Of course they do,” Steve says as he steps out of his shoes and starts to unzip his jeans.

“What does that even mean?” Bucky hasn’t bothered to take his hiking boots off so he’s currently in a fight with his shorts to get them off his left leg. 

Steve sighs again. “Jesus. Like a child,” he says as he reaches over and grabs Bucky’s ankle and gently works off his boot and the troublesome board shorts. Bucky uses the opportune closeness to get a hold of Steve’s jeans at his hips and start yanking them down. “Hey now!” Steve says. “Hands off!”

Bucky backs off and holds his hands in the air. “I get it, you can do it yourself. You’re a big boy.” He tries his best to say ‘big boy’ in as lewd a way as possible once he sees Steve standing there in all his tight boxer brief glory.

“Gross, Bucky.”

There’s a half smile on Steve’s face despite his words as he hands over his jeans. Bucky grabs them and starts to shimmy them on, it’s going to be a struggle with Mr. Slim Hips over there but he’ll do it. 

He’ll do it for science. 

“Not sure those’ll get past those thighs of yours, Buck,” Steve says as he watches him struggle.

“Oh, so you _are_ looking.” Bucky looks up at him and winks. 

“Just get dressed.” Steve sighs again. Steve seems to sigh a lot. 

Steve’s dressed and ready with a pen to write down Bucky’s cell number before he manages to get the jeans pulled up and zipped. Once he does he can’t resist giving Steve an, ‘I told you so,’ look and do a bit of a twist in front of the mirror to get a look at his ass. It must look stellar, the jeans are tight as fuck. “Nice,” he says when he gets a glimpse. He was not wrong.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Number?”

Bucky rattles off his number and says, “Thanks again, Steve Bieber. You’re the best! I’ll dedicate all of my future science successes to you,” as he runs out the door leaving Steve standing alone in the bathroom shaking his head. 

 

~*~

 

STEVE BIEBER: hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky: new phone who dis?

STEVE BIEBER: this is not a new phone and maybe find a more current meme? and you know it’s Steve.

Bucky: who????

STEVE BIEBER: STEVE. I KNOW YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS.

Bucky: I don’t for realsies.

STEVE BIEBER: you have my pants.

Bucky: yeah, it’s not ringing a bell.

STEVE BIEBER: stfu when can I get my pants back?

Bucky: ohhh, THAT Steve. 

STEVE BIEBER: you’re an idiot.

Bucky: look, Steve Bieber, I know a lot of Steves.

STEVE BIEBER: you do not and stop with the Bieber shit my last name is Rogers.

Bucky: noted. altho I feel like Bieber suits you better.

STEVE BIEBER: noted. now about my pants???

Bucky: my ass looks incredible in them everyone said so.

STEVE BIEBER: everyone?

Bucky: yes everyone. I’ll probably keep them.

STEVE BIEBER: my fave pair of jeans in exchange for your shitty old board shorts?? sounds like a great deal.

Bucky: I thought so.

STEVE BIEBER: before this official exchange becomes legit maybe we should go out so I can see if your ass actually does look as incredible as you say it does.

Bucky: I knew you were looking at the goods when we were having our beautiful bathroom moment.

STEVE BIEBER: please don’t ever call it a beautiful bathroom moment again. and let’s say tomorrow at 7?

Bucky: I’ll be there. 

Bucky: with your pants on.

STEVE BIEBER: jesus.

 

~*~

 

“Fuuuuuuck.”

“I know, right?”

Bucky shifts his hips, sinks a bit further down Steve’s cock, he’s almost got it all but he’s teasing Steve, taking a couple of inches before lifting back up. Steve’s fingers keep digging deeper into the skin over Bucky’s hips, trying to pull him back down, make him take more cock, but when he does try it Bucky distracts him by biting his nipple or licking a stripe up the side of his neck. Steve is all kinds of responsive and Bucky’s fucking vibrating with pleasure just from teasing him and drawing out the most obscene little noises. Little whines and moans that don’t sound like they should come out of a man as big as Steve. They’re fucking hot as hell. 

“Buck,” Steve gasps, his lips brushing against Bucky’s chin. “Come on. Take it.”

“Take what?” Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and keeps writhing in his lap, just fucking slow and steady and keeping him right on the cusp. “I wanna hear it.”

Steve mouths along Bucky’s jawline. “You’re such a fucking asshole. Fucking tease. I want you to take my fucking cock, take the whole thing. Ride me until you come all over me.”

“Ahhh, that’s it. That’s what I wanna hear.”

Bucky tips up Steve’s chin so he’s looking up at him as he sit back on Steve’s dick, takes every inch of him, finally. Steve’s eyes go all glassy and he licks his lips, those soft pillowy lips, and Bucky starts rocking his hips faster.

“Told ya I’d get my jeans back,” Steve says, almost slurring the words. 

Bucky laughs and leans in to kiss him. When he pulls back he says, “Not yet you haven’t,” as he looks over his shoulder at Steve’s jeans which are still hanging from his right foot. When they’d gotten back to Bucky’s room Steve had been way too eager to get to the fucking to waste time pulling his jeans off all the way.

They were also still fucking tight so they might have gotten stuck on Bucky’s foot.

At least he’d yanked his shoes and socks off beforehand so he wasn’t plopped on Steve’s lap fucking away like he was in some sad old porno. 

“Oh, I’ll get’em,” Steve says between sloppy kisses. 

Bucky twists his fingers in Steve’s hair and pulls his head back, looks down at his face as he picks up the pace, clenches around Steve and rides his dick hard and fast. “We’ll see, Steve Bieber,” he whispers. “We’ll see.”

Steve’s laughing as he comes, arms wrapped tight around Bucky and holding him so fucking close he’s nearly breathless. When Bucky comes all over Steve’s stomach and chest, just like he wanted, he makes an absolute mess of them and it’s pretty damn close to the best Bucky’s ever had. 

Especially when Steve makes sure to catch Bucky’s eye as he runs his fingers over his fucking tits, gathers up some of Bucky’s come and sucks it off of those fingers. 

 

~*~

 

Bucky wakes up the next morning to a note taped to his forehead.

_Asshole —_

_Got my pants back so fuck you. See you tonight. I’ll be the one outside your window reciting poetry and sonnets and bullshit._

_— Bieber_

Bucky knows the stupid ass smile on his face is fucking embarrassing but for once in a long, long time he thinks he might be a bit more interested in more than just a one night stand. A two night stand sounds really fucking good.

So does a three night stand.

Or a week stand.

Maybe even a few months stand.

Besides, he’s gotta get those fucking pants back.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/giselle_slash) and not very often on [Tumblr](http://gigi-gigi.tumblr.com/).


End file.
